I have best friend who I have known for about 11 years. I know he is a Christian but we never really bothered having serious talks about religion.
One of the reasons was because he and I were both agnostics, and I was never baptized or brought up in a christian family traditions since my parent don’t go to church.
But yesterday at midnight he sent an email to everyone on his contact list, including me, saying he was no longer an agnostic and had full faith in god, saying that his relation with God has changed him a lot and helped him.
I thought good for him, it was quite a ’sensitive’ email so I did not want to comment. But at 1:00am , he called me on MSN and asked if I read the email, I said yes. But then he asked what I thought of it, and I did not know what to say, since it was on a sensitive topic and said it was ‘inspiring’.
Long story short, he said I looked ‘unconvinced’ and then he turned the conversation into what my belief in God was. Since I explained that I was agnostic and not a Christian that I had different views than him.
I for some reason asked him if I was going to hell, in which he replied ”Unless you change, then yes”, I started to get a bit freaked out and through the whole conversation at 2:00am he was saying his opinions, but putting them in a way that made it look like it was fact.
Then he said I was not ‘an extremly bad person’ as if to say I was not a good person, which hurt me a little, and then continued that I would not be accepted into heaven.
So now I’m a bit freaked out by my friend, it’s not becuase he now has full fait on God, it’s the way he seems to preeching to me, as if to say if I don’t become a Christian, believe in God and go to church then I will go to hell. I have never seen him like this and find it completly out of character.
Could anyone give me advice, becuase in the future this long friendship may be broken.
A secular friend once approached me and told me that believing in eternal judgment made me a very narrow person. I asked him, "You think I’m wrong about these religious questions, and I think you are wrong. Why does that make you as narrow as me?" He replied, "That’s different. You think we are eternally lost! We don’t think you are. That makes you more narrow than us."
I didn’t agree, and here is what I proposed to him. Both Christian and the secular person believe that self-centeredness and cruelty have very harmful consequences. Because Christians believe souls don’t die, they believe that moral and spiritual errors affect the soul forever. Liberal, secular persons also believe that there are terrible moral a spiritual errors, like exploitation and oppression.
But since they don’t believe in an afterlife, they don’t think the consequences of wrongdoing go on into eternity. Because Christians think wrongdoing has infinitely more long-term consequences than secular people do, does that mean they are somehow narrower?
Imagine two people arguing over the nature of a cookie. Bob thinks the cookie is poison, and Joe thinks it is not. Bob thinks Joe’s mistaken view of the cookie will send her to the hospital or worse. Joe thinks Bob’s mistaken view of the cookie will keep him from enjoying a fine dessert. Is Bob more narrowed-minded than Joe just because he thinks the consequences of her mistake are more dire? I do not believe anyone would think so. Therefore, Christians aren’t more narrowed because they think wrong thinking and behavior have eternal effects.
According to Christians if God were to truly give what everyone of us deserved, none of us would get to heaven. So its not surprising that your friend said an "extremely bad person." In fact, you ought to take it as a compliment because Christians believe everyone is sinful.
He has this new love For God so give him some slack…tell him you dont want to discuss it and hopefully he will not force anything..or YOU COULD LISTEN CUZ HE HAS found something great.
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Religion can be a disaster to any relationships, platonic or romantic. I don’t really know of any good advice to tell you. If he continues to be preachy and all that, try and change subjects so you can try and enjoy each others time. If that fails you might have to end the friendship. Talk to him about it if he keeps it up (and before it gets to the tipping point.)
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Sounds like the typical judgemental, hypocritical bullshit of your average christian. If he really values you as a friend he’ll respect you enough to keep his mouth shut about what he believes and just accept you for who you are. If he can’t do that, and keeps riding you with the "going to hell" bit, tell him to piss off. If he can’t respect your feelings the friendship isn’t that important to him.
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Salvation (and eternal life) can be obtained only from one who has it, and the only one is YAHOSHUA. The only way to get Salvation is by becoming one with the Savior. It is like a marriage contract: Take His name, follow His rules (Torah) and you become His ‘bride’. By becoming one with Him, you share His life.—- Most people who think they are ’saved’, are not, but are deluded.
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His reaction is one that is very common for someone who has been recently converted to a conservative form of Christianity. He is on a "high" in the best sense of the word and wants to share that with you, his friend and he wants you to enjoy what he is enjoying.
I don’t think you need to "convert" like he did, nor do I think you have to be confrontational about your beliefs. You started on the right track. Now you have to keep going. If he shares something personal about his newfound faith, express your support for his journey, and leave it at that.
Where you stepped wrong is in asking his opinion about whether you were going to hell. Don’t engage him in theological debate, unless you want to try to convert him back. Let him have his beliefs, keep yours, and focus on the non-theological aspects of your friendship.
Someday you might be able to discuss the theology, but at this point, it’s too new to him.
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Experience
Break the friendship now. Your friend has gone off the deep end. Just because he is telling you these things, does not mean that he is right. God would never allow a child of His to intimidate anyone with fear. Don’t allow him to freak you out. If you find his behaviour completely out of character, then get away from him or at least avoid him for awhile. You do not need anyone in your life telling you such negative and fearful things. Your friend has become a zealot, meaning he has become intensely or excessively devoted to a cause. And because you don’t really know what that "cause" is, just lay low for awhile and see what happens. Meanwhile, be yourself and do the things you normally do (outside this friendship).
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You are entitled to believe whatever you want. God gave us free will.
God did not create religions, man did. God created us, the earth and so on. According to my beliefs, you must believe in God and His son, Jesus Christ. But even that is not enough. You must also believe that Jesus gave His life so that your sin is forgiven. In understanding, accepting this and having faith, you will go to Heaven. I felt this in my soul when I became saved. It was my choice. I discovered much of it outside of church. Going to church will not get you into Heaven either. I go to church because I want to be with God in worship.
You have a choice, too. One that no one can make but you. Your friend cannot save your soul. We are all accountable for our own. We are all connected to God regardless of what our mind tells us. I think your soul was touched and the deep down acknowledgment scared you. The soul God created within you knows its maker. That’s why you asked the question.
Your friend is wrong to preach to you in that manner. It’s ok to minister the word of God, but no one can enter Heaven out of fear. You have to be sincere in your coming to God. If you pray, God will answer you. It may not be instant, you may even have doubts… but if you reach out, He will reach back, I promise. From there your relationship will grow. And that relationship will be very real and personal.
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A secular friend once approached me and told me that believing in eternal judgment made me a very narrow person. I asked him, "You think I’m wrong about these religious questions, and I think you are wrong. Why does that make you as narrow as me?" He replied, "That’s different. You think we are eternally lost! We don’t think you are. That makes you more narrow than us."
I didn’t agree, and here is what I proposed to him. Both Christian and the secular person believe that self-centeredness and cruelty have very harmful consequences. Because Christians believe souls don’t die, they believe that moral and spiritual errors affect the soul forever. Liberal, secular persons also believe that there are terrible moral a spiritual errors, like exploitation and oppression.
But since they don’t believe in an afterlife, they don’t think the consequences of wrongdoing go on into eternity. Because Christians think wrongdoing has infinitely more long-term consequences than secular people do, does that mean they are somehow narrower?
Imagine two people arguing over the nature of a cookie. Bob thinks the cookie is poison, and Joe thinks it is not. Bob thinks Joe’s mistaken view of the cookie will send her to the hospital or worse. Joe thinks Bob’s mistaken view of the cookie will keep him from enjoying a fine dessert. Is Bob more narrowed-minded than Joe just because he thinks the consequences of her mistake are more dire? I do not believe anyone would think so. Therefore, Christians aren’t more narrowed because they think wrong thinking and behavior have eternal effects.
According to Christians if God were to truly give what everyone of us deserved, none of us would get to heaven. So its not surprising that your friend said an "extremely bad person." In fact, you ought to take it as a compliment because Christians believe everyone is sinful.
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